Crazy Tuesday!

So yesterday was a crazy day for me and just because it was so humiliatingly funny, I am going to share it with you! I got the call to substitute PE at an elementary school and gladly accepted - thinking it would be great fun - Little did I know...
The first class comes and everything goes well - the PE teacher was sick and so only had emergency plans - free choice for the students between basketball, hula hoop and jump rope. The next class comes in - a fourth grade class and they start out - everything going great - but they all seemed to want to play with the wall balls that I added to choice list - so I go into the office to grab a few more and when I flip on the light switch - the light doesn't go on - but an alarm does. Thinking I had somehow set off a security system I rush back out to see to the kids - they know what is going on - A fire drill. For a second I think oh - it is just a drill and had nothing to do with me. We get out to the fence with the rest of the school and I get my kids to wait quietly for a few minutes, but those few minutes stretch out...
Then I find out from one of the office staff that this isn't a drill - the alarm really did go off and it went off in the gym! So I am thinking "Was it me? Was it the kids when I turned my back?" Every person in the school was out side because of something that happened in the gym.
Well we wait the kids start getting wiggly and loud - the sun goes behind a ginormous cloud and the temperature dives down. One teacher asks what we do if it starts to rain (which the sky threatened to do) and we were told that we would just have to sit through it, we couldn't go in until it was cleared. I am sitting there - miserable - thinking that this is somehow all my fault, everyone is outside in the cold without jackets because of me. Then the fire department shows up, they have to inspect the gym. Great just great - not only did I interrupt the learning process of over 500 students but now I make the firemen come to a needless call. Another office assistant comes over to talk to me to ask what was going on, I tell her everything and ask what she thinks it is - Then they tell me that the gym has done this before! That it is notorious for setting the alarm off. Wouldn't that have been a nice bit of information to hand to me when this all started!
After about 30 minutes we finally get to go back inside and I have to send the fourth graders back to their class amid protests and grumblings that their PE time was wasted - But I totally agreed.
But wait - my day isn't over yet! The next class to come in is second grade. They start playing and after I give them instructions a maintenance worker comes in and says he needs half of the gym to bring in a forklift to check the alarm. I scoot all of the students to one side and just when they are getting back into playing instead of watching the fork lift a small girl hits her face with a basketball and gets a bloody nose - but doesn't tell me - she just bleeds on the gym floor and all over the girls bathroom. A little boy finds me and points out the blood - I tell him to watch it so no one steps in it and I go to investigate the bleeder - finding her in the bathroom I have another little boy escort her to the nurse - while I search for some disinfectant and gloves - which I can't locate anywhere. The maintenance worker calls for custodial help and I again shorten the playing area of the students - at this point I put them in lines and we have scooter races - this way I could control where they went. I also had to stop all girls from using the restroom. This went on until the end of the class, when the custodian came with all the right stuff and cleaned it up. The kids went back to class and I got a small break for lunch. The rest of the day went really well - only one accident in kindergarten and that was taken care of quickly. The last class of the day the teacher had to leave early for an emergency dentist appointment and I took over her class, trying to make sure they got to the right parents and buses, which is crazy with five year-olds.
So that was my crazy substituting story for now - most of my sub jobs are thankfully less complex - but I must say that I got to play girls against boys basketball in third grade today, a second grader helped me with my basketball finger spinning (which improved 120%), a kindergarten boy gave me a high-five every time I made a basket and I got to sing the same jump rope songs that I sang in my own first grade class! Life is really good - no matter what happens!